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Vacation: A Perspective

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We returned from Norway recently. A trip I shared in photos and reels on social media, showing the beauty of the place. In June, we went to Vancouver Island, another wonderful trip, with Tofino and the beaches and natural surroundings being the highlight. I will start by saying that I feel fortunate and extremely grateful to be able to travel to such places, both financially and physically. Yes, we work hard for a living which allows us to take vacations, but many people work hard and cannot. Perhaps it’s from misfortune or financial mistakes, or maybe they prioritize spending money on other things. Maybe it’s children, I hear they can be expensive, or like many people I know, they spend it on a cartload of processed food and booze instead of travel. To each their own. Each time we travel, I am mindful of how lucky we are and speak about how we are fortunate to be able to do the things we do. 


The interesting thing I find about vacating your life is coming home. For instance, you just spent a week getting away from the responsibilities, relationships, community, and so on, and a refreshed feeling comes to you. Our cabin experience in Norway was off the grid, no electricity, a compost toilet, and we gathered our water from the glacial river that flowed down the mountain. We used candles for light, and built a fire for warmth. Hiking trails were all around us, and the nearest reminder of other humans was miles away. There was freedom in washing with the five degree water, drying off as you walked naked through the grass field that led to the cabin. Even the city and towns had a different feel. Maybe it was the newness or perhaps the way that Norway and Vancouver Island have the environment as one of their top priorities. They also seemed more relaxed. 


Then, there is the let down when returning home. As this title states, this is just a perspective, maybe even a cynical one at times. Of course, it’s wonderful to be home with our dog and the familiarity of a house and a few rooms. The comfort of opening a refrigerator and pulling out a piece of fruit that is readily available. With that, life starts back quickly. The emails filter in and the demands increase. Work enters your life again. You see the calmness fade from your eyes and softness that came back to your skin seemingly vanishes because stress is toxic. Your mind starts to switch gears and you are once again exposed to the negativity that comes with being human. It comes with being around other humans, and you sit and ask yourself, “Why? Why is everyone so anxious and angry? When did our society, at least the American society, become so mean?” 


For me, I found myself going into my new role as a special education coordinator enjoying it already, feeling fortunate to be supporting staff and walking the halls of a high school, problem solving for kids that are in jeopardy of graduating. I know that I am fortunate to have picked an occupation where I feel good about helping others and being of service to them. Having work is good. Having work allows us to take vacations, and for that I am grateful. There are many who whine about the jobs they have, forgetting that it is providing their basic needs. Work is delightful. However, when work takes away the feeling that you had when you were on vacation, you need to reflect and ask why. Why can’t you maintain that mindful, relaxed feeling? Why can’t you continue to enjoy your days, take your walks, immerse yourself in nature, and eat wonderful meals? Why can’t you continue to be consumed with the company that you kept while on vacation? Life interrupts quickly and takes away the conversations. Why can’t you take the things you liked about the places you have visited and make them a part of your daily life? I think it is possible. The problem is when you return from vacation and you allow your work to become more important than what and who is actually meaningful in your life. There is no job that is worth your health or losing the people around you because you spend more time in your job than with them. That job will one day forget about you, or at most, tell a story about you and hopefully smile. 


The jobs we have offer us opportunity and help sustain us and survive. As I said, good work is wonderful. Meaningful work is extraordinary and can often give you purpose, and purpose is necessary for a fulfilling life. Yet, if you have forgotten what it was like to relax and vacate within a day's time, and that job has once again consumed you to the point where it has become your priority and not the love you have, then it is time to reflect on that. Reflect on where your priorities stand. Can you work hard but not work yourself to death? Can you balance your job and the life you truly want? At what cost are you willing to give more to your job than the people who care about you, or to the things that make you happy? Is that a sacrifice you’re willing to take, and if so, are you prepared for the consequences of that sacrifice? 


There is also something interesting when you leave your life behind for a week. I believe what unfolds before you is who has a place in your life and who does not. Who brings a source of positivity and who fills your space with their negativity. When you are away from negativity, it stands out when you return. Vacation allows you time to think about who in your life you want to share the experience with. You think about the words “family” and “friendship” on a deeper level. I for one, take the time I spend with people seriously. It is something I do not take for granted because I know that in a moment they can be gone. They could no longer be sitting across from you and that will happen either through life changes, pride, or death. 


After my travels, I try to take something from each place I have been. One of the things from Norway that I discovered once again, is how much I enjoy hiking in the rain. Often, where I live, we stay in when it’s raining. It’s something to avoid, run from quickly, but the rain is cleansing. It cleanses the soul and your shoes and offers a wonderful rhythm of its own. 


In Norway, I was sitting one morning in meditation by the glacial river, the mountains surrounding me, and the rain falling gentle on the wood structure that covered my head. I opened my eyes, looked up and around and became emotional that during this time, this moment, I have had the opportunity to be alive. My mother brought me into the world fifty-four years ago and as I sat thinking about her, tears filled my eyes. I  realized how grateful I was to be breathing in the Norwegian air. It was one of the most mindful, exhilarating moments I have had in a long time. As I began my yoga in that same spot, I understood that I have the power to keep that feeling. I am in control of not vacating my life, but living it every day the way I choose. I am in control of choosing my attitude, how I spend my time, and the people who I allow into my space. This includes work. I found joy this week having meaningful conversations about helping students. I enjoyed offering support to staff and having discussions with them about slowing down and doing the job right, not fast. When I saw one teacher stressing over something that she had no power over I said to her, “If it is not within your control, let it go. There is no job worth your health.” Some will say, “That’s easy for you to say, Chuck.” My reply is that you will understand when you lose your health. I have done so and fought like hell to get it back. 


Through this, I also know that I am only in control of my actions and how I respond. I will work hard when needed. I will enjoy the time that I am at work and then I will leave it there because one day it will be gone. Work is impermanent. The same with people. I will choose to give my time and space to those that bring me joy or at least do not intentionally add to my suffering in any way. I want to be around people who I would share a good view with. Read that again!


I have to figure this out for myself. I have to find my own way of being, and if others continue to be controlled by the things they vacated their life for in the first place, well, that’s on them. They too need to find a way towards calmness and understanding and that love and the people they care about most are what is important. Sometimes, you will find that those people are more important to you than you are to them. When this happens, it may be time to vacate the relationship. 


I was walking my dog this morning and came upon a flower. It was a Black Eyed Susan. As Birdie stopped to sniff the grass, I took a long pause to just stare at the flower and I realized after we moved along that I just vacated the world for that serene moment. 



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