Compassion

I believe we have lost something in this country, and the world, that has not been here in a while and has drifted further away in the past several months, and that is compassion. 

Compassion literally means “To suffer together.” Thich Nhat Hahn discusses compassion often as the feeling when you see someone else suffering and then want to relieve that suffering. This does not have to be only for friends, family, neighbors, or people we know. One can look at what is happening throughout our world and the injustices and suffering that is taking place, and want to relieve their suffering. That is being human. 

Empathy is our ability to take the perspective and feel the emotions of another person. It’s basically having the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes and walk around in them for a while. Compassion takes that a step further by actually having the desire to help the person who is suffering. Without both empathy and compassion, I am uncertain we can survive, which is what we are starting to witness. We are seeing aid being taken away from people in need around the world, and it is estimated that tens of thousands of people have already lost their lives because of it. We see genocide and war, and people starving because they are denied aid. We have seen this in past history, and it usually takes millions to die before people finally show compassion for them. Why? How come we cannot develop this now and act before more people lose their lives? It seems that we condone hate more than compassion, and there are obvious reasons for that. The division we are witnessing has been intentional. 

Cynics will say that compassion is “Soft” or “Woke.” They think having compassion is for the weak. Research has shown that when we care for others and help them, that it also helps the person offering compassion. There are not only physical benefits but mental health benefits as well. It is why I often tell people that are struggling with their mental health, “Go help someone.” Last school year, I had a young person in my office telling me they felt stuck and were struggling with depression and anxiety. They wanted to know what to do. I replied, “Go help someone with something. Anything will do, but offer your help to them expecting nothing in return and then come back and tell me how you feel.” They did what I told them and came to me saying how it did help with their depression and anxiety and they felt better than they have in months. Offering compassion is a wonderful antidepressant. 

Yes, I believe we have lost something. Our world often feels angry, mean, and self-centered. It can be, just drive down the highway, go to the grocery store, or watch men in uniforms take away hard working immigrants, and you will see hate and meanness unfold before you. That is what we are shown in the media. We see it on reels and social media posts. Hate is filmed because it gets views. However, there is compassion everywhere. There is love all around us, but stories like that do not get as many followers. It does not stir the pot of greed and fame as much as hate does. 

If we want to survive, we need to look at the world as our community. What happens to a starving child in Gaza should matter to all of us. When an immigrant who does not have a criminal background is taken from their home or work by masked men, we should be concerned and care. When we hear about far right extremists spreading hateful rhetoric towards people of color, we should all be alarmed. When we witness womanizing, sexist men harm women, every true man should condemn it. When we see genocide, we should want our military to use its power and stop it. To take action to help people that are suffering and offer them compassion, makes us human and is the only way that we will truly survive in this world. Compassion is strength. 

It can feel daunting to see all of the injustices in the world and feel too overwhelming to know what to do or how to respond. Do as I told my student, go help someone and not expect anything in return. Even that one compassionate gesture to help one person, and it can be as simple as saying “How are you?” and actually listening for their reply, will make a difference. We have to start somewhere to break the cycle of hate that we are in.