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Carrying Water 


We got back from Norway and plunged back into our lives of work, technology, and navigating human relationships. It’s strange coming back from a vacation because it often feels like it never happened. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to be able to travel, but the life you vacate from awaits, and sometimes it has seemingly sped up, uncontrollably at times. 


Even for those of us that try to practice mindfulness and mediation, life’s chaotic pace will test us to see how good of students we have become. I’m finding it is a lifelong study.


I have not felt the same since leaving the rustic cabin in Fresvik. I realized once again that I need little. It was only for a few days but I got to see what life was like again without technology, without the addictive influence of social media and the endless scrolling, necks curved like a question mark, and the constant pressure of being available. Where everyone has constant, and seemingly instant contact through text and messenger, or email. Being available to people these days is almost an expectation, and if you choose to pause and not respond, it’s as if you are not caring or doing your work well. People are wanting and demanding your attention at all times, stealing away mindful thought and meaningful dialogue. Stealing a piece of your love, life, and most important of relationships. Being connected is a thief of true connectedness. 


I loved carrying water from the glacier fed river to the tiny cabin. The taste was pure and cold. Looking up at the mountain that it came from, seeing the water source plunge down toward you, made drinking it a more sacred experience. I enjoyed the gathering of wood to fill a stove that provided heat to the cabin that held no wires, no electricity. There was no internet or phones. It was sometimes so silent you could hear your own heartbeat or the soft breathing of the person next to you. It was one of the only times in a long time that there was conversation without interruption from a device that buzzed or flashed a text or message from someone who was demanding your time and knowledge. People meeting their needs and undermining your own. 


I miss who I was at the cabin. There was a freedom there to explore, reinvent, imagine, and love deeply, all without distraction. I strive to emulate that feeling but it is difficult with all the noise. The noise from people, politics, and the world as a whole. Noise from devices. And the worst noise of all, the dialogue in my head that once again questions my purpose.


I long to carry water. I long for true, undistracted connection. I long for my true self. 



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