A Reflection: On Being An Educator

I am going into year nineteen as an educator. Often, when the start of a new year approaches, I reflect on my individual journey as an educator, how I came to be a teacher, and often, too often these days, I ask, “What’s next?”

I have been witness to many things as an educator, mostly good, but some bad. I have seen unethical behavior from a few administrators and have had to make a stand against that. It never really had anything to do with me, but the harm was towards other staff, usually women, so I could not let it slide. Most of those people got what they deserved, so it is nothing I no longer need to reflect on, only to say that there has never been a school year gone by that I have not seen others being harmed emotionally. That’s hard to sit back and watch, so I chose not to be a bystander, which in return caused a lot of stress along the way. It’s made my edges a little crisp. Though, I bet I’d be more stressed just turning a blind eye and not offering help. 

There have been so many good things as an educator. I have often told my wife, who is the greatest mentor a teacher could have, “Becoming a teacher is the best thing I have ever done for myself.” It’s true! I could literally write a book about the things I have been witness to, good and bad. 

The good things, the things that are a magical part of education, is being with young people and helping them learn to navigate life, whether it’s through academics, mental health, or how to be more mindful in their lives. It’s sitting with a teacher who is struggling and then offering them something to try, whether it be with a student, colleague, or parent, and then when they take your mentoring advice and try it and it works. In fact, it works well enough to give that teacher a breath of life to continue on. 

I keep some notes that students have written me over the years. Some of them hang in my office to remind me daily that I have been helpful and had some impact on their lives. When I finished this past school year, I received a couple of cards from graduates that said, “Thanks for helping me feel safe this year.” To me that was powerful because I believe our very first priority as educators is to make all students feel safe, no matter their color, economic status, sexual preference, or pronouns. If you walk through the school house doors each morning, that is your job, to accept students for who they are and make them feel safe. You can’t truly teach until you have trust, and trust comes through making someone feel safe, seen, and heard.

I have come to a point in my career where I have seriously considered hanging it up and moving on. Though, every single year as an educator, I have asked myself, “Should I keep going? Am I any good at this? Do I make an impact?” I believe it’s a perfectly natural question for educators, especially if they want to continue to grow. What do I mean by that? Well, here’s a hint for you new teachers. Find the seasoned teacher that is still looking to grow and develop. They are not just satisfied with the status quo and want to improve what they do, even after ten, twenty, or thirty years in the field. Find those people who question their impact and don’t just recycle what they do year after year because it’s easy. Those are the ones you want to sidle up to. Be around the teachers that are not afraid to ask tough questions to leadership and challenge the behavior of leaders when it is not good for the school environment. More importantly, ask tough questions of yourself. Self-reflect often and bring more and more awareness to how you conduct yourself daily. It’s not easy to do at times because of the plethora of tasks we are given. Then ask, what “tasks’ are actually useful and important? Challenge that as well. Though, word of warning, when you start to challenge and not just go along because it’s easy, your life can become hard for a bit. People do not like being challenged, especially if they are in the wrong. 

I personally have entered a new phase of reflection as an educator. It’s not, can I continue, but do I want to? I am not sure if it’s because I am now fifty-five and approaching retirement, or I am just tired of the merry-go-round of education and all of the politics that comes with it? It’s something I need to figure out, and maybe I have. 

As educators, we often feel attacked by society. It seems a president or governor gets elected, and it somehow changes our profession. I suppose that is part of being a public servant? We are often overlooked and over burdened by other public servants. Society wants educators to either solve all of their kids' problems or we become the scapegoats for them. It can feel daunting at times. I have seen much blame over the years, and depending on the powers that be, that blame is either enhanced and we are more smothered, or you may work for a true servant leader who understands when unreasonable expectations lay at your classroom door. I have witnessed students not getting into the colleges they applied for, and parents blaming teachers or counselors, but never looking at their children’s lack of effort or initiative. I have seen students get busted for drug deals, and their parents want to bail them out, blaming the school system. I have seen teenagers apply for jobs that they didn’t get, and the school is blamed for not preparing them more. It’s okay to let kids feel uncomfortable. That’s how they learn, so stop looking for blame and a bail out that enables them. This list of blame against teachers could fill volumes. It’s what often burns teachers out, and why there is such a great shortage. That shortage is starting to, and will further, hurt schools and families. You need teachers to have a thriving community. 

We will soon see and feel the impact of funding being withheld and taken from schools. I know districts who have had mental health grants taken from them by the current presidential administration. This will take away therapists and counselors that were helping students with their mental health and ultimately will put them into harmful situations. That’s not an exaggeration. It’s what we are facing as a reality, and it keeps parents up at night worried about their kids. Let me tell you something, it keeps educators up at night too. We also worry about your kids. More than you will ever know. That is the heart of an educator. We care about your children so much that we sacrifice our own health, families, and peace of mind. It’s true! Certainly, we strive to keep boundaries and take care of our mental health, but it is in our nature to sacrifice for our students. That should be respected, not lead to more demoralization of the profession. 

I have heard over the years the criticism towards educators, but you know what drowns them out, the people who support us. I have had the privilege of working on a team with so many wonderful parents and community members. I have been fortunate to see the efforts and advocacy that parents have taken for their children, and instead of looking at educators as the problem, they look at us as an equal partner in the solution. These are the folks that realize we show up daily to do a job that is underpaid, under appreciated, under financed, and often under valued. They are the people that lift us when society is trying to tear us down. Many of the families that I have worked with over the years have stayed with me through my educational journey, and I have kept in touch with them, still offering support when I can. You never really stop being a child’s teacher, counselor, dean, or principal. That relationship often continues. I have seen some of my former students get married, and I have seen far too many of them meet their end. I have witnessed my students enter career fields where they look happy, and others reach out to me for guidance because they are miserable in their decisions and feel stuck. I have seen some become parents, and others go to jail. There is joy and heartache in being an educator. 

As I enter another school year, wondering if I should continue, I give myself the same advice that I gave to a couple of new teachers last year who were struggling with the will to continue. “Yes, ours is an often difficult profession, with many trials and tribulations, and yet, it is glorious. We get the opportunity to be a part of a child’s life, along with their family, to help them. We are part of their story, a guide for a short time in the scheme of life, and often we become a part of their memory. From what I have experienced, you often have no idea the impact you are having or who you are impacting until after the fact. It is usually receiving a card from a graduate saying, ‘Thank you for making me feel safe.’ It could also be an email or message on social media years later that comes through, thanking you for being a constant and positive presence for them, or helping them through a tough time when they were feeling depressed and suicidal. Often, you never know your impact on students, parents, or colleagues, so enter each conversation with compassion, empathy, and kindness, and I am certain that you cannot go wrong with that approach. Make people feel safe in your presence and show a great deal of emotional intelligence.” This is something I have said to many educators over the years, and I remind myself of it often.  

We choose how we show up, everyone who enters a school, whether it’s the custodian, admin assistants, paraprofessionals, teachers, deans, principals, directors, or superintendent. We can either show up with a bag full of negativity or become an agent for growth and positive change. I truly believe this. Yes, you will have your bad days and moments of negative emotions, but do not dwell there. Your students do not have time for you to show up that way. They need you to show them how to get through those tough days. 

My end may be coming soon as an educator, at least in the sense of how I am doing it now, and I am uncertain if that will be in one year or five. For now I know this, I will show up mindful, in the moment, doing the work I have in front of me to the best of my ability. I will choose to lean in closer to my tasks rather than pull back. Pushing away the things that I do not like about education has worn me down a bit. Perhaps the key is being mindful of the moments that are good. The ones where something magical happens, even if it is as simple as receiving a “hello” from a student for the first time as you greet them at the front doors. It is approaching each day knowing what is within my dichotomy of control and letting go of what is not. It is also knowing that when you stand up with someone, and for them, you have now chosen to place yourself in harm's way, and that is okay. Believe me, it is worth it because when the end of this beautiful career finally does come around, when that choice to walk away is made, you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I did my best for the people I cared about.” Though sometimes, as educators, we don’t feel like doing our best is good enough. Know this, it is! 

Go now and make a difference in someone's life, whether that be a student, parent, or colleague. There will come a day when you are sitting on your patio wondering if you should keep going down this path or take a different one. You may be wondering, was this all worth it? It is! You can walk this journey a little while longer, and it was worth it! Take one look at the eyes of a student that needs you, and you will see that it is worth it.