We often see a sunset and feel the need to take a photo of it. I too have done this far too often. It’s as if we feel the need to capture the moment and keep it in a small, material device to look back at it whenever we want. I have never seen a sunset look as beautiful on my phone as it did in real time. Moments are not meant to be captured. They come and go, but we often miss the moment that is right in front of us because we are not truly present. We are too occupied with spinning thoughts.
For example, look back at a person in your life who is no longer there. It could be a family member or friend, and maybe they have passed on or perhaps you drifted apart. However, there was a time when they mattered to you, when they were important. Do you remember your moments with them? Do you remember the small details that made your relationship special and unique? Can you close your eyes and picture their face and the color of their eyes? Were you paying attention to how much you cared for one another?
My mother is dying. She has cancer and it is not treatable and as much as she fights it, the cancer will eventually win. Maybe old age will win, but either way, we are closer to the end than the beginning. It is something I have come to accept because one cannot deny death. If I deny it, I will miss my moments with her. I think about our talks and the stories she tells me about her daddy and Uncle Curtis. I think about the thrill in her voice when I tell her I am coming over, and I think about how she looks like a surprised little girl when I bring her a chocolate shake. Just because we grow old in body, it doesn’t mean we grow old in mind. I take all of our moments together and hold them tight, sacred, because I know they will pass and one day she will no longer be here to be in the moment with. My memory of her will remain strong, but memory will only take us so far and will possibly fade one day. The current moment I have with her is what truly matters. She is before me, breathing, and I need to absorb it all.
I am mindful and present when I am near my wife. When she enters a room I watch her. I look at her stride and figure, and sometimes I watch her put her make-up on or fix her hair, and I wonder why she does these things? Who taught her? Women are a mystery to us men and I like that. She reveals what she wants me to see, slowly, and gives me just enough to want to keep discovering her. She’s a secret that I keep within my ears and heart. I cried recently because an image came into my head of us being very old and saying goodbye to one another and falling into our eternal sleep. I paused my thought and breathed deep and remembered how far we have come together on this journey, but more importantly, that we have each other here and now and I must enjoy our current moments. I left the future alone and waited patiently for her to come home and kiss me gently. It is what matters.
Try not to get caught up in your life, the busyness of it all, and forget about living. Do not think about the past because it brings you anxiety. Thinking about the future may bring you depression. The only way to live and experience it all is in the moment. Find out who you are and what you value, and then pave a path in your life to walk that road. My advice is to become a person who emulates and values kindness, compassion, and empathy. Be that person who seeks adventure and is mindful enough to know that the journey is the destination.