I sit here this morning just a little differently. I did my normal routine, waking up around 4am, making a little coffee, getting a piece of dark chocolate, and doing about twenty minutes of mobility work. I then sat and read from one of Thich Nhat Hahn’s books and worked on breathwork as I smiled. It is my daily routine, one that if I miss, I do not feel as connected on that particular day. Routines are important, as is having the discipline to do them, but today is slightly different because I just left being fifty-two and stepped into a new year. Yes, today I woke up to gratefully start another year of life.
As I sat breathing, I asked myself, what do I wish for on my birthday? It’s an interesting tradition. To me a wish is similar to a dedication that is given during yoga, except a birthday wish is an accumulation of those intentions.
I wish for my wife to feel loved. I want her to know how special she is to me and to those she comes into contact with. We recently were talking about why she entered the field of education, and when she thinks back to the young woman that she was, I am not sure the answers were totally clear. That is normal. She could have taken another path. However, I do believe many of us are being led to the paths we must take in our lives, for whatever the reasons they may be. For her, I cannot imagine how the world of education would be without her and the hundreds, upon thousands of lives she has impacted. I know she has been a mentor to many educators, and by mentoring them, she has had a positive impact on the students that they taught. As a teacher, she is my greatest mentor. So, I wish for her to see her worth, her impact as a whole, and accept it fully, knowing that her influence has been great. With that, I want her to let go of what she cannot control and alleviate as much stress as she can in her life. Unfortunately, in the educational world, stress is clogging our collective arteries. Egos often thrive, and many forget why we are actually there, which is the children before us. Karen, my love, has never misplaced her “why” when it comes to being an educator, and that is the students. I wish for her to live a long and healthy life, one that will have adventure, passion, and discovery. Mostly, I wish for her to thrive in self-discovery and deep reflection, being mindful of every moment. I asked her out on my fifteenth birthday, and she made my wishes come true way back then.
For my mother, I wish for her to find peace with her life. Her eighty four years has been a long, winding road, often full of heartache. However, I want her to stop and reflect on the joy more than the suffering. She is coming to the end of her life. It is there, a few steps away and it is time for her to see the beauty of being given a life to live, where she had the ability to tell stories, create poetry, and fill canvases with paint, and it will all live on long past her death. Not to mention creating a family, who are often scattered, splintered in many ways, but I have a feeling that in the end, blood will be thicker than water, and love will come back around. I cannot speak for her other children, but for me, her youngest, I have reflected often that without her, many wonderful things would never have happened. Whatever impact her children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren will have on the world, is because she created us. So, as I sit here going into my fifty-third year, I wish for her to find a calm mind and enjoy every moment that she has left, and if the bad thoughts creep in, accept them with curiosity, and then remind herself again how much love she has in this world.
I have a wish for my siblings. It is to know that I do love them. I want them to live healthy, happy lives, where they realize that we are bonded. No matter our differences, we share a last name and a history that can never be denied.
I have nieces and nephews that are growing, starting their lives, and beginning to lay a foundation down for who they will become. I wish for them to live the lives they want and to not let anything hold them back. Mostly, I want them to recognize their uniqueness as they move forward and to live with virtue. To walk this world knowing that the most important thing is developing good character, having high morals, and building resilience. I wish for them to make an impact on the world by being kind. The rest will fall into place if they start with kindness, and then taking care of their bodies and minds so that they are fully able to live freely, without constraints.
For my mother-in-law, Ruth, I wish for her to know that I appreciate her loving me. I mostly appreciate her creating a beautiful daughter for me to love. I want her to live out her remaining years healthy and continue to bring kindness to those around her. When I describe Ruth to others, the word kindness is always at the forefront. I wish for her to go into her old, old, years, like her mother did, and spread her wisdom.
For my friends, the real ones who reach out every so often to say, “How are you?” and actually mean it, I wish for you to know I am here for you. I hope that is enough?
For my students, past, present, and future, I wish for you to know this, I have loved you all. I truly do! It is difficult at times because I often wish I could have done more for you but I would have been depleted. I still am, but the tank is not empty yet. I have given you my best, what I could, and kept a few fumes in reserve for the sake of my health. I still see many of you, mostly through a screen, and hear from some of you, especially when you need some advice, and that is wonderful. I wish for you to discover yourselves and live with a great deal of self-awareness. To know that there is so much beauty in the world and be mindful and grateful for it all. I hope you remember a little of what I tried to teach you. I made many mistakes along the way, so I appreciate your patience and grace, but I cared for you. See, I never was meant to be an educator in the traditional sense. I have often felt like an imposter. I do not always care for the traditional way of schooling. I didn’t leave high school, go to college, and back into the schools to teach. For me, I like one-on-one conversations. The ones where you needed advice or were struggling with your mental health and need some hope or ways to build resilience. I like to talk to you about your worth and life and love, and make you believe that you are special. I wish for you to make a big noise in this world, but one that is for the good of others. I wish for you to live a life that makes you smile and also accept your tears.
For the world, I wish that somehow, someway, we could all see that we have to inhabit this small planet together. We need one another for survival and I do not like what I am seeing. We have become consumed by technology, phones, social media, and our own greed. Politics have become a reality television show and we have lost our “why” and our morals. The divisions are growing wider because of egos and blame, and no matter who’s “fault” anything is, pointing the finger at the other and wishing them harm is not helping anyone or anything. We need to be mindful of our world because it is speaking to us. The signs are there that we need to make changes and make them fast. We need to care for our planet and all that nature has provided us, and when it comes down to it, it gives us life. I do believe that we are at a crossroads as humans. We have the capability of pulling together and stopping climate change, poverty, hunger, and bringing peace. There are powerful countries in this world that could come together and show understanding and compassion, instead of division and war. Leaders could place their own needs aside and realize that if they combined their immense powers for the good of the world, many of our problems could be solved. It could be a beautiful world to live in. It is, but I wish we could see it with eyes wide open before it’s too late.
A wish for myself is not really a wish. Instead, it is something that is within my control. It is being mindful of the days that I have left. To be self aware and live a virtuous life, where I will bring kindness to others. To understand what I can influence and let go of what I cannot. To be grateful for waking up each morning and showing others compassion and empathy, and maybe helping them through their own struggles. To show them a different way of battling the demons in their mind. I wish to explore the world and then reflect deeply on my place in it. To live simply and to love. That is all.
